


between you and me

by toxica939



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:23:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxica939/pseuds/toxica939
Summary: Right. Shit. This is about as far as she'd gotten in her head. What's she supposed to say now? Well Robert, I know I've got a dead fit boyfriend but I think I want to snog my best mate as well? She can't say that. She'd rather die than say that.





	between you and me

  
It's not the first time it happens. Or even the first time she notices. But the time that actually makes the difference, when she actually thinks _oh, this might be a thing then_ , is a Friday night.

They're getting ready for some stupid party Gabby said she couldn't possibly miss. Liv's only going along with it because Harry said he'd stop by after footy.

She lets Gabby talk her into tighter jeans but completely ignores all demands that Liv stop wearing sweatshirts to parties. She compromises by letting Gabby do her make up, because Liv's a good friend like that.

Except, when Gabby steps in close, brush in hand, sweeps it in gentle strokes over Liv's cheeks, Liv can't look away. Gabby's eyes are lined in black, lips smeared pink and glossy, slightly parted. There's a hair caught at the corner of her mouth and Liv wants to brush it away. Wants, suddenly, with an ache behind her ribs, to put her mouth there instead, to see if that gloss tastes the same on Gabby's lips as it does on her own.

It's startling to say the least.

:::

Liv's been going out with Harry for five months.

He likes football, his own car but not cars in general, and Liv.

She likes him too. Because he's fit and kind and has never once made a comment about her dad. But mostly because he makes her laugh.

Actually, that's done him well with Aaron too, who spent the first couple of months of their relationship trying to get Harry to fear for his life. It's funny _now_.

These days Harry gets invited round for his tea and Liv and Robert take it in turns to kick Aaron under the table any time he gets a bit mouthy. Robert's a great help in general actually, at keeping Aaron off her back.

Harry worships the ground Robert walks on of course because, as it turns out, Liv's taste in blokes is about as terrible as her brother's.

She likes Harry a lot anyway. More than she likes Gabby, even.

She's not entirely sure what that means.

:::

It doesn't have to be a thing. That's what she keeps telling herself. She probably loves Harry. So what if she has a bit of a thing for Gabby? Or that Emma girl in drama or whoever. Why does it matter?

Liv has been made perfectly aware, throughout her entire school career, that it would surprise exactly no one if she suddenly announced she was a lesbian.

But that's not what this is.

:::

Robert's the only person she can think to talk to. Which is rubbish because he's an absolute disaster area. Still, he always tries for her. That'll have to do.

She suggests watching Serenity again after tea, because Robert loves it and Aaron never lasts more than the first half an hour before he wanders off.

This time he goes up to bed, ruffling a hand through hers and Robert's hair as he passes behind the settee and calling them a pair of geeks. It's pretty standard.

She pauses the tv as soon as he's disappeared from view and enjoys the way it makes Robert jump.

“What?” he asks, looking confused.

Liv pulls her knees up onto the settee, a barrier between them. “I need to talk to you about something,” she says.

Now he looks worried. “What have you done?”

Liv shakes her head. Typical. “Why do you always assume I've done something?”

“It must be pretty bad if you don't want Aaron knowing,” he says, ignoring her perfectly valid point.

He's sort of not wrong. Whenever she properly fucks up it's always Robert she calls. Aaron takes things a lot better if it's Robert's job to break the news. Really, she's doing everyone a favour.

“It's not that. I haven't done anything, I'm not trouble. I just need to talk to you.”

“Me?” he points at himself because he's a moron. “Specifically?”

“Yes.” she tries to put every ounce of how much she wishes that wasn't the case into the word. She thinks she manages it pretty well when he sighs dramatically and flops back against the cushions.

“Alright. Go on.”

Right. Shit. This is about as far as she'd gotten in her head. What's she supposed to say now? Well Robert, I know I've got a dead fit boyfriend but I think I want to snog my best mate as well? She can't say that. She'd rather die than say that.

“I think I might like a girl,” is what she goes for in the end. It does the job, direct, to the point. And if her face is burning, well, it's dark, Robert probably can't tell.

Robert blinks at her for a long moment.

“Like, _like_ like?” he asks.

Liv rolls her eyes, but nods because she's got this far.

“Right. Oh,” Robert's nodding, looking supremely uncomfortable and rubbing at his thighs. “You're sure?”

“No. But. Probably. I think so, yeah.”

Robert's still nodding. “What about Harry?”

“Well obviously I still like him as well.”

“Okay,” still nodding. But now Robert's staring at the wall so it's easier for her to keep her head up. This is so awkward. She doesn't even know what she was hoping for here. Except, she does.

“Does that make me bi?” she asks. It comes out broken, more desperate than she was going for.

Robert looks at her, shakes his head. “It doesn't have to make you anything.”

Which. Yeah, but. “But if I like both?”

“Then you like both,” he shrugs, like it's so simple, like it doesn't matter. “Are you going to do anything about it? This girl?”

Liv pulls a face, what does he think she is. “Of course not, I'm with Harry.”

“Right.”

“Maybe that makes me straight then,” she says, mostly to herself. “I mean, if I'm with a lad.”

Robert screws his face up, like he's in pain. “Maybe. I don't know, I think I was still bi when I was with Chrissie. I just didn't think about it. It didn't really matter until I met your brother.”

“I can't stop thinking about it,” she tells him. She wants to press her hands against her hot face, balls them into fists instead.

Robert puts his hand over her foot, gives her the soft eyes that always turn Aaron to mush. “Then you're doing better than me. Burying it doesn't help.”

He looks like it cost him something to admit that so she keeps still, doesn't shift away.

“So I could still be bi if I have a boyfriend?”

Robert's eyes flicker. “Well. I'm hardly an expert. But I reckon you can be whoever you want with whoever you want. Go out with whoever you like, fancy whoever you like. You don't have to label it if you don't want to. Or you can. Either way. Just be happy.”

It takes her a second to blink away tears. It always makes her want to cry when someone's nice to her. Even now.

“Are you happier? Now everyone knows about you?”

She watches Robert think about it, watches him thumb at his wedding ring. He doesn't fuss with it all the time like Aaron but she's noticed him looking at it more often these days.

“I'm happier now I'm with Aaron,” he says. “If I was still with a woman, I'd probably just let everyone think I was straight,” he laughs a bit. “And when you're married to a fella, everyone just assumes you're gay so. Don't expect anyone else to get it.”

She nods. Maybe it would enough for _her_ to get it. She sees what he's saying though.

“You know, you're not actually completely horrible at this,” she tells him.

“Well like I say, I'm not a expert. I'm trying.”

She nods. She knows he's bi. She knows he's mostly okay with it but not as okay as Aaron thinks he should be by now. It's good of him to try and talk about it with her.

“Thanks Rob.”

“Any time.”

She unpauses the film before she can do something awful, like hug him, but she does stretch her legs out across the settee to tuck her toes under his thigh.

:::

Aaron appears in her bedroom doorway the next afternoon. Liv's got biology bollocks strewn across her bed and only half of it makes any sense so she ignores him until he raps his knuckles against the door frame.

She tugs one earphone out to show willing. “Yeah?”

Aaron's doing the same awkward face Robert had on last night. “You okay?”

Liv sighs. Brilliant. “He's told you then.”

“Course he has, it's Robert.” Aaron says, coming into the room to perch on the end of her bed, all furrowed eyebrows and earnest eyes. He's always earnest, Aaron. Sometimes Liv wishes she could be like that.

“So let's try that again. You okay?”

Liv concentrates very hard on wishing this conversation wasn't happening. Aaron's still there when she looks back up.

“I'm fine,” she says. “I was just thinking about some stuff. Robert helped.”

Aaron doesn't even have the decency to not look surprised but he doesn't say anything.

“Shut up, he did. He just reminded me that nothing has to be a big thing unless I want it to.”

Aaron nods, mouth turning down like, _alright_. “So it's not a big thing then?”

Liv shrugs, taps her pen against her knee. Maybe it'll help to say it out loud again. “I don't know. I think I'm maybe bi. Probably.”

Aaron huffs a laugh. “Right. But you've got a boyfriend?”

“Robert says that doesn't make a difference.”

He snorts. “He would.”

“Is this you trying to be helpful?” Liv asks, annoyed. “Because you're rubbish at it.”

“Sorry,” he sighs.

Liv looks back at her revision, like it might make him leave. She's made a mistake in question three, she realises. That's going to annoy her until she can fix it.

“Listen,” Aaron says, tugging the end of her plait where it's hanging over her shoulder. “I don't know anything about being bi. _Obviously_. You were probably right to go to Robert. I just wanted you to know that it doesn't matter to me either way.”

“Good. You're the last person who should be going round giving out advice.”

He gives her a dark look. “Thanks for that,” but he's smiling a bit when he gets up. “So you are okay then?”

Liv shrugs. “Yeah. I reckon so.”

“And you're still with Harry?”

That deserves an eyeroll. “Obviously.”

Aaron pauses by the door again, rolls his lips between his teeth. “You can talk to me about anything you know?”

He makes her heart hurt sometimes. “I know. But I've got two of you, might as well spread the load.”

That makes his face light up. Liv's pretty sure there isn't anything in the world that makes Aaron happier than her and Robert loving each other. She figures one day, he'll figure out that's just what families do. He's never been the quickest.

:::

Harry takes it about as well as she could hope.

“You're bi?”

“Yeah,” it's the first time she hasn't said she thinks so. It feels good.

Harry looks out the windscreen. They're pulled up outside the Mill and it's starting to look like he's not going to come in.

“Is this your way of dumping me?”

“What? No. I'm just...saying.”

“But you fancy girls?”

Liv resists the urge to roll her eyes at him. “I fancy other lads as well. What's it matter?”

Harry's nose wrinkles and the seat creaks when he shifts. “So you don't want to split up?”

Liv puts a hand on his leg, leans across the gear stick. “Not unless you want to.”

She watches him swallow. That nervous click in the back of his throat he always gets when she moves in close. He shakes his head.

“Then we're good?”

He nods.

He tastes like chips and vinegar when she kisses him, and his ears turn red like always.

Probably, she shouldn't have bothered telling him. But this feels better.

:::

Aaron and Robert are on the settee when she slips through the door, Aaron sprawled across Robert's chest. There's some rubbish looking police chase show on the telly and Robert looks mostly asleep.

Sometimes Liv misses the days when they'd spring to opposite side of the room whenever she walked in.

“Hiya,” Aaron says. It makes Robert grumble, hand sliding up into Aaron's hair.

Liv rolls her eyes. Gross. “Alright. I'm going up to bed.”

“Everything okay?

She nods. Aaron wouldn't ask if he didn't care, but he's already dropped his head back down to Robert's shoulder and his eyes are already closed.

So she doesn't say anything. Thinks _yeah, I'm good_.

 


End file.
